I'm positive I'm going to get some backlash on this, but so be it. When it comes to boys, I will always believe in no piercings. As for girls, ears and that's it. I don't care that it's now normal for facial piercings, I don't like it and never will. Our oldest son asked when he was in his early teens about getting his ear pierced. My reply was,"when you wear panties and a bra, I'll let you get your ear pierced." Sorry, but it's my opinion. He never did get his ear pierced, but had his tongue done when he was 19. So much for parental input. I don't know what or if there even is a legal age for a child to get pierced without parental consent, but if there is, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have happened to the 12 year old without Dad being there. I don't know if he was trying to be a friend to his son, or the cool parent, but if he was that apprehensive, he's still the Dad and could have said no. There will probably be replies saying why it's okay to let your children get pierced, and I'm okay with that. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and has the right to raise their children as they see fit. I just don't like or agree with the piercings.

I totally agree with the last comment from Deb. You are a parent act like one! As long as you're in my house and I take care of you, you will do as I say. When you're on your own you can do what you want. I'm hoping with good up bringing they will decide against it later. Kids have a lot of peer pressure this days I understand. That is why we have to raise leaders not followers. We as parents are there to guide them and sometimes say "NO" to things that we believe are not good for them. They might not like it now but will thank you later. TRUST ME! I speak from experience.

I agree wholeheartedly! I am already telling my 6-yr old daughter to "be a leader, not a follower" when she comes home from KINDERGARDEN talking about so and so does this or that. Life is hard enough these days and kids need to be kids as long as they can.

While I'm in favor of ear piercing, and nose piercing for religious or cultural reasons, I'm left puzzled over why so many young people choose to pierce other body parts. Are they making a statement, or simply being fashionable? To me, a pierced tongue, eyebrow, or upper ear, looks painful and distracting. Not to mention they carry the risk of serious infection, or worse, if not done properly.
If my kids asked permission for alternative piercings, I would have to say no. That's key. In Illinois, children under 18 cannot undergo piercing unless accompanied by a parent.

Ok, throughtout history kids have done things to rebel, remember when girls started wearing pants! oh my! As for piercings I am not in total agreement with facial piercings, however, kids need to be able to express their individually in some ways. If you have a responsible kid getting good grades and behaving, so what if they want an earing? Now, if the school dress code does not allow it, that is a whole other story.

I'm not sure where schools draw the line regarding body piercings. Dist 230 and Dist 135 have dress codes available on their websites, but do not mention any restrictions on piercings.
But as a parent, I have to go with my gut instincts. If this (alternative piercings) is something I disapprove of--risk of infection, distraction, or simply being old fashioned--than my kids have to adhere to my rules. There are other ways to express their individuality.

Again, my opinions may change as we reach that age. But I too do not care for boys to have piercings at all and neither does my husband. But then one could say "well, girls can". It's just a tough, tough debate. As far as nose piercings, again. I don't care for them and hope my kids never will either but if I have to "fight my battles" I'd rather they have a piercing than get a tatoo. I would AT least want my child to wait until he/she is 16.

As for school, I believe... the more restrictions at school... the better! All should have dress codes in place...no hats, fine with. No piercings, fine with. No whatever... I'm fine with. It's not going to hurt the kids, may only cause trouble and they can change when they get home. Yes, schools have important issues like guns and knives to deal with but clothing can also be gang related and can cause a lot of bullying too.

Just very tough, tough debate.

I plan on making it a special event when I allow my daughtes to get their ears pierced when they are 10 (if they want). I do not plan on allowing them to get anything else pierced. Once they are 18 and "legally adult" (although we all know that most are far from adult at 18) we can discuss other piercings. Call me old fashioned but since I am the parent, I get to make the decisions. When teenagers get body piercings they are really doing it to get attention. Why else do you get your belly button pierced? I actually dont have a problem with teen boys piercing their ears but that is because I dont have any boys! I am not sure I would want my daughter dating a boy who had his ears or other body parts pierced. Like it or not, it makes you think that the boy is a rebel or druggie or what ever, even though that may far from the truth. I imagine you have to look inside - don't judge a book by its cover and such.

Unless you're a pirate, your head is shaven bald and you're hawking All-Purpose Liquid Cleaner, or you're millionaire NFL wide receiver flashing diamond studs, boys have no business piercing their ears.

Call me old fashioned.

Dennis and everyone else, you can count me in the old fashioned club

Thanks for your comments, everyone! Make sure to check back every Wednesday at 1 p.m. for more Moms Talk topics and chime in.

This is ridiculous. This is why I am ashamed to tell people that I spent part of my childhood in New Lenox. To anyone reading this, horrified, remember: IT GETS BETTER. You just have to move to a city, or to one of the coasts.

I laugh at the "call me old-fashioned" comments. You're not old-fashioned...parents are ALWAYS out of touch with their kids, and NEVER really remember what it was like at their kid's age. It's ok to not understand, accept, or support what your kids want to do. Parental alienation is only one thing that molds kids into adults. As a fellow who owns a piercing studio in a college town, please parents- don't allow your kid to be themselves. Every single day I hear kids tell me "oh, I'm piercing my vagina because my parents wouldn't let me get my bellybutton pierced when my girlfriends all did. It's a nice little secret way I can get back at my parents...plus it feels so good"....seriously, all the time. "I'm piercing my nipples so my parents won't see them". PLEASE. Tell them no. I want them when they hit college :)

p.s. the kid was probably nervous because his cheap-ass dad took him to some butcher at the mall to get his ears #*&@$ed up with a piercing gun. If you truly care about your body, go to a proper piercing professional.

When I was 17 I clipped a fake hoop on my ear to prank my parents after a summer trip. I stepped in the front door and briefly saw the color drain from their faces, with a shared look that said "we had a feeling he might eventually do something like this." I then took it off and laughed. I'm not sure if they joined me in that part. My sisters and I have a long history of pranking my parents.

I am not nor have I ever been a pirate, NFL wide receiver or bald-headed cleaner hawker, but for a window in time I had two piercings in my left ear. On a spring break trip where a few high school friends pierced eye brows, tongues and nipples, I'd say I picked the lesser. We were all 19 and for no particular reason just said 'why not?' But 12? I'm pretty sure I'd have been mocked profusely for that, and my dad would've just laughed.

I guess it was a pinch of why George Carlin said he wore an earring. He wanted people to think he was different and independent. My piercings got a similar reaction as George's - total indifference. No one said anything about it. Three or so years later while showering, the hoops just broke and that was it. I never replaced them, the holes closed and that was that. For much of that time, my hair hung low enough to cover the things. Few people even knew I wore them.

Looking back, it had a brief time and place, and it was more for me than anything else. Harmless in the long run, compared to other ridiculous things I've seen people do. But at 12? No.

Pangea, if you think all parents are always out of touch with their children, then I'm sorry to say, you're the one out of touch. Some of us are very in touch with our children with the lines of communication wide open. As I stated earlier, when my son was 19, he had his tongue pierced. Did I like it? No. But at 19, he's an adult in this world, as are the college students who make up your customer base. Just because some parents have rules and guidelines does not mean we live with our heads buried in the sand. We had rules about homework and curfews for our sons too. If that makes us out of touch, so be it. Some people care for piercings, some don't. Same for tattoos, smoking, etc, etc. the gist of this article is basically middle school or just in high school age children. Big difference between them and college age kids.

Evidently, I'm in the minority here.

I'm a thirty year old minivan mama of three--a happily married homeowner. Very suburban. By the age of twenty-three, I completed not one but two graduate degrees. I went on to teach at several local colleges part-time up until the time my oldest (now five) was born.

I have six tattoos and a quarter sleeve piece. I have my ears pierced (several times per ear, although I only wear four total). I have my tongue pierced, my nostril pierced, and a Monroe (if you don't know, Google it). Granted, I am a SAHM so I'm not out in the professional world with my modifications, but I did have my tongue pierced more than a few years prior to my career as an adjunct instructor. I removed it during class times, of course, but never "gave it up". Suffice to say, I'm very much pro body modification, at least at the adult level.

If the school rules forbid the piercings (especially at, say, the tender age of 12), I would be certain my child adhered to policy. However, if there was no code per se? It would really be age *and* maturity dependent. I can't say I'd be a huge fan of any major modifications until the late teenage years, but I see nothing wrong with a boy sporting a pierced ear--even at age 12--if he can express why he feels it to be desired. I don't think it has anything to do with the friend vs. parent conundrum; I believe you can set boundaries and still allow room for self-expression.

Also, I strongly second Pangea's sentiment about the necessity of getting pierced in a reputable shop. I would never take any of my children to the mall to get an ear piercing. Never. If they can't handle the fact that a needle is used for the piercing itself, they're not ready for said piercing. A high school girl working at the mall is not my idea of a "reputable piercer". Since 2006, I've had all my work done at a shop in Oak Forest and the sanitation standards are top notch. I have yet to find a doctor's office so thoroughly sanitized, to be honest.

Additionally, I've had facial piercings since I was seventeen (when I graduated high school, I pierced my tongue--much to my parents' chagrin although with their permission as I was living under their roof at the time) and I have yet to deal with any infection (or problem of any sort, really) with any piercing I've received (the last one being my Monroe in 2008). Just a friendly reminder that while some piercings do get infected, if you care for it properly (and have it pierced properly by a true professional), the risk is minimal. A good piercer will instruct you on aftercare and thoroughly discuss all the "warning signs" with strong encouragement to come back to the shop at the first sign of anything amiss (or even before then, if you happen to be of the slightly paranoid variety). :)

I like one earring on a man. I think it's sexy. I also see a double standard here. In some cultures, girls get their ears pierced at a very young age. So what's wrong with a boy wanting to get his ear pierced at age 12? I had my ears pierced at 15 and my mom went with me to the mall. I did it because Cher had pierced ears. I'm not into all the tattoos and body piercings that are so prevalent today. I frankly think it looks unattractive and that most people will be sorry they did it when they turn 80 and they have blobs of faded inked skin. But I'm not here to judge. As for this ear-piercing boy, I think this dad wisely chose his battles. Kids are always challenging their parents and if this is the most rebellious or non-conforming thing this kid does, his parents are lucky. There are a lot worse things this boy could be doing: playing the choking game or doing drugs. So why is it okay for young girls to get their ears pierced (and I agree - one in each ear) and not a tween boy? I think once body-pierced kids graduate from college and look for a job that pays more than the hourly wage in a coffee house, the body piercings come out.

Not a huge fan of boys with piercing, but, also not a huge fan of a double standard either... I think the schools should dictate what is appropriate, they have been for years anyway. I just don't think that anyone involved thought that the issue would expand beyond appropriate clothing and hair length.

I remember my friend taking her 14 year old to a professional piercer for a belly ring. When she saw my raised eyebrows she explained quite succinctly. " If she really wants it, she's going to find a way to get it with or without my permission. This way, I know that she has it and that it's been done under the correct and sanitary conditions." I couldn't find an argument with that one.

As for my own daughter? If she brings up the ear piercing thing again, we'll have it done. Once she's in high school if she wants her ears double pierced (mine are) I'll go for that as well. But that's it until you're 18 or out of my house. I had enough trouble convincing her father that ear piercing was acceptable. I can't imagine the argument if I sanctioned anything else...

None of the boys/men in my own family growing up ever dared to get their ears pierced. I am not sure if it was the fear of disappointing my father (who would have blatantly objected) or the fear of being teased incessantly by all of the other men in the family(I can hear the "girly-man" taunts now). My own mother never had her ears pierced and wore clip-ons. When asked why she didn't pierce her ears, she always replied "I do not believe in self-mutilation". I am still not sure if she was kidding or not. I am in agreement that ear piercing for girls is fine and my daughter has hers pierced. My sons do not and will not unless they do so later in life. I just think ear jewelry is for girls/women. Sure it is a double standard, but one I stand by. As far as school involvement, I think that schools should only intervene when the piercings become a distraction or disruption to others.

This article is extremely appalling! Aside from being filled with hypothetical questions ("What will happen to the boy when he goes to school?) and a biased headline ("Early Body Piercing a Sign of Danger Ahead"- seriously? Danger?!), it also gives one example of this being a school violation and makes it seem as though this is the norm. Shame on you Patch for publishing a piece so very lacking in journalistic integrity.
This article is extremely intolerant of other people and their decisions to do what they choose to their own bodies. Perhaps times have changed since the mom writing this article went to school and perhaps she should realize that other parents supporting their male or female children's decisions to get ear piercings is not a "sign of danger ahead". Since when did Patch start utilizing Fox News-style scare tactics?
I could even understand a discussion of college-aged persons and their tattoos and piercings and how this could effect their chances in a job market, but I think criticizing a 12-year-old boy's decision and how his supportive parent may be "inadvertently putting his son on a dangerous path" is absolutely ridiculous.

Courtney, I agree with you. I actually am working on drawings for my first tattoo based on a fire/water painting a friend made me in college. I've known many inked and pierced folks who've done truly excellent things with their lives on a lot of levels. People are definitely quick to judge folks who get inked or otherwise body-modify, and that's a shame.

With regard to the age 12 aspect, I'm more concerned with a 12-year-old boy keeping the piercing clean more than anything else. I got pretty dirty at 12, and while I'd shower afterwards, as you point out, piercings require more care than that.

Chris, we appreciate your opinion. Know that this is an opinion piece published for the purpose of further conversation, and gathering different opinions on a topic, when criticizing its journalistic integrity. Some people don't like piercings, some do.

And while I'm not weirded out by multiple piercings, for me personally it always struck me as a lot of work to get to that point. That's just me and that's why I gave up on it when my hoops broke. Tats are a different story for me. A lot of striking artwork can be made with ink and skin.

Im with you courtney
me and my husband are the little suburban family to...even though hes not one for peircings he loves tattoos and i like them both...heck im working towards opening my own shop one day...but its not about being friends with your kids or jus being parents...yea my mom was pissed i got my first piercing and tattoo at the age of 18. she was never no no no she just informed me on "worst case seneros" what happens if i get a tattoo i cant hide for a interview for clinicals in nursing so ive made my decisions based on that...and as far as my daughter shes 6 and loves tattoos and piercings...she dosent judge anyone because of them she tells me all the time how she wants a tattoo when shes 17 im ok with it as long as its meaningful and no boys name thats my limits and the only piercing she wants is her nose and i have no problem with it its jus a hole just like in ur ear its a hole! reguardless of gender its a hole and if thats what that family or parent or person decides...why do outsiders have to put our two sense in...who are we to judge anyone?

Amanda, I respect your opinion, but I'm confused as to who you refer to as "outsiders"? This blog is about opinions, not judging anyone. I happen to not like piercing in boys and that's my opinion. Not sure how tattoos got into this, but I have nothing against them, as I have 4 of my own. My oldest son got 2 after her turned 18. My only opinion on those, at least for myself, is as you said, it has to mean something. To get a puppy paw or flower just for the sake of getting a tattoo makes no sense to me. But again, these are opinions we are offering, not judgements. I have male friends and relatives with earrings and eyebrow rings. They're all adults and it was their choice. As a parent, we just happened to let our children know that we would not allow it while they were under the age of 18 and living at home. Our home, our rules. Are there worse things kids can get into? You bet there are, but it was our decision that I would expect others to respect just as I respect their decision to let their children get pierced or inked. We just all need to agree to disagree. And once again to all those commenting, thank you for keeping this civil, even if you don't agree with the opinions posted.

Deb, I believe what Amanda may have meant by "outsiders" is people who are not directly involved in the lives of the people with piercings.

When you kid gets his earring ripped out of his ear, cause he was wrestling, or playing catch, or whatever we did as 12 year-olds, then it will be an issue...or maybe the kids these days are so hopped up on video games, playing outside is not on their agenda...when I was in college I saw my roommate get his ripped off his ear...I would not want to see this happening to anyone...especially to a CHILD, who is making adult decisions

Wait until the Hepatitis C shows up a few years down the line. Too late then.

As much as I've enjoyed the comments above about the sexiness of piercings and tattoos, I'd like to address the questions posed at the end of the article: No, the father of the child getting his ears pierced is not sending his son down a dangerous path. Ear piercing is not dangerous and does not have any deeper meaning than wanting more opportunities to accessorize. Let the kids accessorize! Earrings are fun, and we've reached the end of scarf season.

As for schools and where they "should draw the line" about piercings: they have no lines to draw. The schools should have nothing to say about accessories except in extreme situations, like if a girl's nose ring indicates her gang alliance.

While 12 is too early for this kind of stuff, I don't have a problem with piercings or tattoos. My son is 23 and I have two stepkids in their 20's. Some of them got tattoos and piercings, and some didn't - of course, while in college. I don't have a problem with it. It's their form of self-expression, and while it may not be for me, I do realize that all teens and young adults have their own methods of self-expression. If they are good kids and doing well in life, perhaps it's just their own way of being a non-conformist. And there's nothing wrong with that, in my opinion.

Tattoos and body piercings were not super acceptable or mainstream back in my day. Only rock stars had earrings. But nowadays, tattoos are mainstream.

Middle school age kids should have limited, but as kids get older, I believe if they are otherwise doing well and conforming to standards, they should be allowed to have some form of self-expression.

And Lorraine, I'm with you. I've always loved an earring on guys.

I was 3 when my lobes were pierced. I was 14 when my labret was pierced. I was 16 when my tongue, lip, septum, bridge, eyebrow, anti eyebrow, and my lip was pierced two more times. I'm 18 years old, and the only adults who have an issue with my facial jewelry are people in their 50's.

Would you consider me dumb because my face is full of metal? Would you find me to be incapable of a job, or would you rather me not be there because my face is too appalling for you to look at? Well, maybe I find you to be appalling to look at, but you wouldn't catch me whispering to the manager about it. Oh, you were born that ugly? Fine, fine. Well, I was born to one day look like this. I'm smarter and more mature than most people my age. Each hole in my face has been thought out and planned, not a sudden impulsive needle shoved through. I was wee tot wanting an earring on my face, but that was before I found out the places I wanted piercings were called a labret, septum, etc.

Body Modification is an art. Let us breathe as we want to. Control never got you anywhere, but more rebellion. If your kid wants a hole in his/her face, let her get it. If she doesn't like it, it can be removed. If it hurts too much, it can be removed. Medicines are now made to heal scarring or stop it all together. It's a new generation. Let us live our way. We've lived your way long enough.

I cant understand why this is such a big deal still today I got my ear pierced when I was in 6th grade and still have it till this day and I am 30. Its a choice I made and got a lot of rude comments and looks from other people. Why do you care so much what someone else chosses to do or let there children do. If its not for you or your children fine but don't judge what is right or wrong for someone based on what you think is right. That is what is wrong with people today they are to worried about everyone else and telling them what is right or wrong instead of just worrying about them self.

Humans have been piercing ears for centuries. It's nothing, really.

As to schools having strict codes against ear piercing: If done across the board - both genders - perhaps. However, public schools need be very careful not to infringe on anyone's right to free expression.

If girls are not banned from earings, why would we even consider banning boys? Can anyone NOT the the sexism inherent in the difference?